I have said all of the following:
- "I'm just not motivated to do [good habit] right now."
- "I've done so much already, I can't do any more [good habit] today."
- "I'll [good habit] eventually, but I just got home so I want to [not so good habit] first to rest."
Maybe you’re having vivid recollections of times you’ve said these same words: before school, after school, before work, after work, when tired, and when not tired. These choices are abundant in our daily lives, and we have learned to justify bad choices based on a lack of motivation. In other words, we have been conditioned to believe that there is a one-way causal relationship from motivation to positive productivity.
For most of my life, I have operated under the famed “Have-Do-Be” psychological mindset: in order to get what I want...
- I must first have the motivation,
- to do the things necessary,
- in order to be who I want to be.
I believed that a necessary precursor to assuming my desired identity was to first have the motivation to take the actions to do so. The risk with this approach is that motivation is inconsistent, and thus relying on it as the first step towards self-improvement virtually guarantees that we will not progress at our desired rate.
Instead, we can choose to invert our perspective to the “Be-Do-Have” mindset...
- In order to be someone aligned with our desired identity,
- we must do things aligned with that identity,
- in order to have what we want.
In this new paradigm, we have a choice about who we want to be, and thus will act accordingly in order to stay aligned with our identity.
More motivation is not the answer, because we cannot control our volatile willpower. As in a casino, the game is rigged against us. The more we rely on chance, the more likely we are to lose—and motivation is the same kind of gamble. By staking our daily productivity on willpower, we gamble our potential away.
Quod vitae sectabor iter.
Latin for "What path of life shall I follow?"
What is the identity that you wish to have? What actions would someone with that identity take?
Physical fitness is extremely important to me, in order to feel healthy and think clearly. For my first three years of college, I said all of the following:
- “I’m just not motivated to go to the gym right now.”
- “I’ve done so much already, I can’t do any more exercise today.”
- “I’ll work out eventually, but I just got home so I want to watch that new episode first to rest.”
I went often, but on hard days I still defaulted to the same excuses. I was acting in a way fundamentally misaligned with who I wanted to be, as I subconsciously believed that willpower was the key to unlocking my health.
Putting into practice the “Be-Do-Have” mindset was life-changing. I identify as someone who is physically fit: someone who goes to the gym every day. Given that, I will go to the gym every day, because that is who I am. Thus, I have what I want: a feeling and actualization of physical fitness because I am going to the gym every day.
And that is exactly what happened.
Consider whatever it is that you want. Whether it is physical fitness, more time to spend with family or friends, a new job, or a healthier mindset—it is vital to recognize that you do not have to wait, with open arms and a dream, for willpower to come knocking. It will come if you wait long enough, but almost never with the frequency or intensity to make meaningful change. Relying on chance is like standing at a roulette table, betting that the next spin will finally change your life. So, the only practical solution is to change your approach to changing your life—by controlling what once felt uncontrollable.
Start playing the game on your terms.