The Tragedy of Comfort

If you are content with exactly where you are, then I must warn you about reading further. You might become uncomfortable.

Discomfort threatened survival for our ancient ancestors. Why? Because discomfort often meant separation from one’s tribe — facing hunger, the elements, and the beasts of nature.

Our modern-day fight-or-flight instincts have hardly changed since this harsh reality. The evolutionary wiring that emerged for escaping immediate physical threats is now inappropriately applied to our more mundane, psychological stressors: a project deadline, running late to our dinner reservation, and frustration that no one can read our mind. Despite these less severe pressures, our genetic code has instilled in us the desire for comfort at all times because discomfort used to mean real danger.

Unfortunately, for many of us, habitual comfort dulls the edge that great achievement requires. We shouldn’t expect ourselves to seek real change when our lives feel "good enough" because any meaningful change inevitably threatens that comfort. The truth is that striving requires discomfort; without it, we have no reason to venture beyond who we already are.

Consider a frog placed into a pot of lukewarm water. It stays in the pot because the temperature raises no alarm. The stove is turned on, and the water begins to heat up. The frog is comfortable. Why should it not be? Nothing yet gives it a reason to leave, so it has no reason to want to jump out. As the metaphor goes, the water begins to boil, and it is now too late.

Comfort is insidious. Every day, we take the easy way out by choosing to live our lives like this frog. By choosing to stay comfortable, we allow ourselves to remain content and complacent with what is, rather than push ourselves to strive for what could be. Often attributed to Lao Tzu: “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”

Odds are, we’re the frog. We must jump. The water is getting hot.

Welcome back, friend.

It is my pleasure and privilege to join you on the great stage of life.

Here, we know no better than to practice Comfort Theater.

We simply do as we did yesterday. We are alive today, which means yesterday went well enough. And to be alive tomorrow, we will do today as we have always done.

Why would we want for anything else?

Comfort Theater is thinking that the actions that feel the best to us right now are the best for us. As actors and actresses in this diabolical play, our song and dance makes us feel lighter afterwards, but not better. It is avoidance disguised as safety, and it is self-indulgence masked as rest and recovery.

Comfort Theater is the set of rituals we perform to feel okay about not changing. It is the story we act out each day and night to convince ourselves that we are safe. It looks like checking social media instead of honing a new skill, binging television instead of reading, and doing absolutely anything to avoid having to contemplate the reality of one’s situation. It is coping with stress, tiredness, loneliness, and boredom by distracting ourselves with dopamine slot machines and placing the burden of progress on our future selves. "I’ll get serious soon." "I’ll do it tomorrow." "Just one more episode."

Our play is a tragedy, and the room is holding its breath.

Don’t ignore the signs that change is required in your life.

If you feel unhealthy or unfit, then good. Now we can actually do something about it. A worthwhile challenge would be to cut out one more dessert a week, stop buying one salty snack you always cave to, start going on a 10-minute walk after lunch, or start lifting weights once a week. Tackling our discomfort does not need to be miserable, and heading in the right direction is empowering.

If you feel unmotivated, then good. Now, we can actually do something about it. Since more motivation is not the answer to our problems, we can instead create systems to enforce productive routines.¹ For whatever positive activity you feel unmotivated to do, I encourage you to keep a daily log of your contributions to that activity. I can assure you from personal experience that you will not want to miss a log entry, even after just starting out, simply because you have a streak and can visualize your accountability.

If you feel unsure about venturing into entrepreneurship, then good. Now we can actually do something about it. You may not know what you're doing to start, but you will certainly know more tomorrow than you do today. So do anything to contribute to your endeavor today. Channel your discomfort into one daily burst of energy, and let your efforts compound over time. Consistency builds momentum. Momentum brings results.

If you wish to head toward your destiny, you must change your direction. And to want to change your direction, you must be uncomfortable where you are.

Every tragedy has a fateful moment that dooms the main character.

Fortunately for us, our play isn’t over yet. But things are heating up.

Jump.